My reflections & tentative generalizations about male/female sex

[Disclaimer: It is quite likely that my limitations could have influenced these]

1.     Sex is not the big problem; parenthood is.

2.     Sex is unnecessarily hyped as much as it is unnecessarily tabooed.

3.     Relationships becoming sexual, whether marital or otherwise, are detrimental to the beauty of it. Beauty can be retained by limiting sex to events rather than allowing it to become the basis of relationships.

4.     Deeming sex as performance often makes it underperformance.

5.     Frequency of events & prolongation of intercourse have no lower limit that has to be crossed; as achievement & enjoyment are two different things.

6.     Self-dependence makes interdependence flexible enough to respect the freedom of the other.

7.     Foreplay &/or other-aided masturbation, are essential for satisfactory event which need not necessarily culminate into intercourse.

8.     Intercourse is more of a male-requirement & is ideally a return gift for inducing female (mainly clitoral) orgasm, via cuddling, caresses, etc & discovering her particular requirements.

9.     Fantasy can be an aid to the act even though it is learnt as a substitute for it.

10.    If fantasies are shared & mutually accepted qua fantasies, they cease  to produce unwarranted guilt.

11.   Fantasies help catharsis as well as beautification without actually executing them & in such way they do not always amount to ‘invitations to misconduct’.

     12.    In fantasy, arousal is inversely proportional to legitimacy.

13.   In act, contentment is directly proportional to mutuality of Response.

14.    Objectification can not be completely eliminated but mutuality can be maintained, turn by turn.

15.     Imposition/pain is always wrong except when a mock-one is requested by the other.

16.     Fixations can be avoided by limiting them to fantasy & sharing fantasy with the other & learning new ways of getting satisfied.

17.   Orientations can be changed, only by accepting them in the first place. This does not mean that they ought to be changed in so far as they are not encroaching upon freedom of the other.

18.   Female coyness is paradoxical. Its incident-violation is enjoyable to both while sustaining it for enrichment in the long run.

19.   Males are more visually oriented as compared to tactually oriented than females. Even in tactual-field they are driven more by motor feedback than sensory. This difference demands acceptance & understanding from both sides.

20.  If the sense of non-responsive co-operation by female puts off a male he is a good human being.

21.   For a sensitive male, intercourse with non-responsive female is nothing more than masturbation in wrong place.